You know you're obsessed with PotO, when
by Olivia Greene
Summary: Here are a couple indicative signs...
1. Chapter 1

_[A/N: As promised, here's something a little less melodramatic. Too much melodrama makes my brain hurt and my poor brain already has too much being hammered into it, so here is something rather more light-hearted. _

_Well, everyone's doing it and I guess, now that I've done it myself, I know why: it's hilarious good fun! I have no idea how many of these I'll be putting up – at present I have about two more and they're going up in tens, so only time will tell how many more posts of this will come up or when. I guess whenever I think of more, eh? The interesting thing is, every single number on this list applies to me (!). Some apply to many as well as myself, some are just as a result of my own special brand of insanity and obsession. So once again, I pose the question: what points apply to you and what else can you come up with that I've left out?]_

**You know you're obsessed with 'Phantom of the Opera' when...**

_Let's begin with the basics:_

1.

You know the entire libretto of the musical off by heart.

2.

You've read the Leroux and Kay books so often that you know them off by heart too.

3.

You know who Philippe, Jammes and Madeleine are.

_Right. Moving on now... _

4.

You feel instant disdain towards people who say "Oh, I love 'Phantom of the Opera' but only for the music, really."

5.

Somehow or other, you can link almost every word to P.o.t.O.

6.

Somehow or other, you can link almost any other movie/book scenario (even school setwork books, if you're me) to P.o.t.O.

7.

The lyrics of almost every song you hear somehow link to P.o.t.O. For example, 'Hey there Delilah''s line: "listen to my voice, it's my disguise" !

8.

Every time you see red roses, you absolutely HAVE to find a black ribbon, tie it round the stem, slide your fave sparkly rind up the stem and take photos. Just so that, since you own the ring, you can pretend it was a gift to you from Erik. Sad but true - welcome to my world.

9.

You start seeing shadowy opera-cloak-swathed, masked figures in every shadow.

9.

You've attempted to make your own Punjab lasso and have even researched knot tying in order to do this.

10.

Whenever you watch movies, you keep your eyes peeled just in case you happen to see a poster for 'Phantom of the Opera' somewhere in said movie - what's more, you've actually found one before! [I've found 2 and counting. One in _Spiderman 3_, the other (actually a picture of Chaney Phantom) in _A series of Unfortunate Events_. Yes, I know I need a life. And..? Your point is…?]

_[A/N: And thanks to all the people who've been reviewing and faveing. They really make my day every time. Thanks a bunch! =D]_


	2. Chapter 2

_[A/N: Awww, you guys are so sweet! Thanks so much for all the reviews. Because of this, I have decided to put the next ten up now already. Because you rock! Note to self: write more humour phics and stop wasting your time with the serious stuff - nobody like it anyway.]_

11.

Your friends often amuse themselves at your expense by misspelling Erik, Eric, in your general vicinity, because you can always be relied upon to get angered by this.

12.

You can name at least ten Phantom actors, whether film or musical, offhand.

13.

Your phobias are reversed: all of a sudden you're no longer afraid of scorpions and are abnormally kind to spiders - but grasshoppers scare the heck out of you!

14.

You keep an emergency supply of safety pins about you at all times -- you never know.

15.

In conjunction with #14: every now and again, you amuse yourself by going up to people and randomly yelling "Safety pin! Have you a safety pin?!" at them.

16a.

And along similar lines, you have fun going up to people and ranting, "You must choose, my dear. Which will it be: the grasshopper or the scorpion? But beware: the grasshopper hops jolly high!!" followed by a good bout of maniacal laughter.

16b.

By the way, just to illustrate the depths of my obsession: I was going through some old boxes the other day when I came across the manual for an old hand-held scanner (remember them?) and one of the pictures on the cover was of a scorpion with a grasshopper in it's claws. The scanner is long gone and the manual is useless to me but I still keep it just for the supreme symbolism of that picture.

17.

Should anything strange happen around you, say for example, a book falling off a shelf, or a power failure, you're very quick to exclaim "He's here, the Phantom of the Opera! It's him!" (I live in South Africa. We have regular power cuts. I'm guilty of this many times over. I think my family is beginning to get annoyed.)

18.

You've developed a newfound interest in the Persia of the Victorian times (and when you've finally managed to find yourself a picture of the royal family during that particular time, you feel hugely disappointed at the fact that the Khanum looks like an obese prune in Bolivian national dress).

19.

All of a sudden, you love reading anything by E. A. Poe.

20.

Should you ever be lucky enough to visit Rome and St. Peter's, the first thought the flits through your mind, before you admire any of the architecture, is 'Erik stood here.' This goes for all geographical areas where Erik is reputed to have been.

*************

And here are some of the interesting little 'You know when's of other fellow obsessed commenters:

A.

In driver's Ed, you sing "You've past the point of no return!" every time you come within 100 ft. of a stop light.

B.

You use the scratch paper you never used on the geometry test to draw phantom sketches.

C.

You can link your friends' personalities to characters in 'Phantom of the Opera'.

_[Just kidding about the serious stuff. If I like something, I'll write it, that's that. Now - I shall go and see if I can think of any more interesting little bits and pieces for another list…_

_PS: and it's true about the Khanum!]_


	3. Chapter 3

_[A/N: And here we are again - more updates of the List. *frowns* and that we the last pre-prepared list. Hmmn, that means I have to start thinking again. Bugger. Oh well, these things all but write themselves, so I guess it's not so bad. And thanks for the reviews, guys! It's absolutely amazing to read all of them - and to think I've not even been on here for a month already… *is feeling way honoured* Thank you all!]_

21.

Siamese cats are your favourite type of breed.

22.

In your vocabulary, 'fop' is the worst insult there is...

23.

...followed closely by 'you great booby'.

24.

Although you previously couldn't tell the difference between a concerto and a symphony, you're now a leading expert on operatic and musical terms.

25.

You know all the Latin parts of a mass as well as the order in which they are performed. Bonus points for you if you know the words to most (or all) of the parts as well.

26.

Anyone saying the word 'phantom' in any context whatsoever gets your instant and entire attention.

27.

You try your best to, at every opportunity, convert your non-phan friends, with differing rates of success.

28.

You firmly maintain that your 'interest' in 'Phantom of the Opera' is "not an obsession, it's a _lifestyle_".

29.

You have pets called Sascha, Ayesha or César.

30.

You are very proud of your extensive P.o.t.O. collection which generally includes things like the DVD of the 2004 movie, the soundtrack to both the film and the stage musical, the Leroux book, the Susan Kay book (thank you so, **so** much, DeadFoxy [or GameQueen - somehow the name just sticks…]) and anything else you may have in the line of films, soundtracks, autographs, memorabilia or your mother's old LP of the soundtrack, bought in 1987.

**************

And here are some more, kindly supplied by other fellow obsessed phans:

"You can relate anything from rubber ducks to ponies to POTO" - Lady Stripes

"You buy more than 3 DVDs or soundtracks of 'Phantom of the Opera' and know every difference between the movie and the musical." - Migotka21


	4. Chapter 4

_[A/N: Hello there everyone. In the last two weeks, life has been coming after me with a pick-axe, and only now am I finally able to breathe again. Geez! That was NOT nice. But… I survived and all limbs are still attached aaaand… here's the next part of the List. Enjoy! __Once more, thanks to all of you who've been sending in such awesome reviews. Seriously, those reviews of yours dragged me through this murderous period. Thanks muchly!]_

30.

You know what a catoptric cistula is. _(Do you? Mind cookies to anyone else who knows…)_

31.

You were made aware of the existence of a certain Empress Elisabeth of Austria, aka Sisi, only by watching the 2004 movie and subsequently finding out a little more about the costumes therein. _(BTW: speaking as a Sisi fan since the age of nine years, I absolutely HATE that phenomenon!)_

32.

Whilst watching a documentary on Napoleon, you nearly flip out when you see a painting of him _in the Red Death costume from the 2004 movie_! Afterwards, you start grumbling about how unoriginal the stupid costume designers in the movie were -- they steal all their clothes from 19th century monarchs!

33.

Even though you've read the Kay novel more times that you can count, you still cry every time you read the bit where Madeleine asks Erik what he wants for his birthday. And although ordinarily you don't possess the ability to cry during a movie, you suddenly found yourself doing just that during the 2004 film - right at the end when you see the rose on Christine's grave. And despite the fact that you've seen it countless times, you still do.

34.

You're busy working on a top-secret, exceedingly complex (_á la_ 'the Italian Job' and 'Oceans 12' _et al_) plan to kidnap Frederick Forsyth and ALW, and forcing them to revoke all things resembling a Ph.. sequel and POM on pain of a very painful death. … And then just inflicting random pain as retribution for all the grey hairs they've been causing you since announcing their terrifying intentions.

35.

"Barrels! Barrels! Any barrels to sell?!" is another one of your favourite random quotes.

36.

You've downloaded a photograph of the Peacock Throne off the internet and have zoomed in and examined it minutely to see if you could find any gaps between the gems or any diamonds that looked suspiciously glassy.

37.

You would never, ever name a child of yours Luciana.

38.

You're more familiar with Erik's life story than, chances are, he is. You get bonus points if you can recite the exact dates, according to Kay, of when he was where.

39.

The only pictures you've drawn lately are all phan art.

40.

You still know the precise date on which you were first came into contact with P.o.t.O. and succumbed to obsession. You celebrate this anniversary annually. _(Mine's the 11__th__ of February. Guilty as heck! Two years and counting…)_

_---_

_And now for the usual posting of the points readers have sent in -- always good to gather info from as wide a fanbase as you possibly can… *grin* Heck, but you guys come up with great stuff. I was considering just putting it in the main sheet and then having more sheets, buuuuut that would be plagiarism, and, as my lecturers have been drilling into us for the past month (geez, guys, we get the message -- long time ago already) plagiarism is BAD. Therefore, we're sticking to the usual format so that I can 'reference' the original author. It may not be the Harvard system of referencing, but it's there! *sighs* Right. _

You can tell, after 2-3 seconds of listening, whether it's the movie or stage overture you're listening to. -Erika the Phantomess

On your school planner (if you're still in school and your school has planners) you have a huge picture of your Phavorite Phantom (mine's Lon Chaney) where a picture of your school mascot is supposed to be. -Phan of all things Phantom

You sneak a copy of PotO into each class, and then, when your Global History teacher yells at you, you calmly explain that Leroux said Erik really existed, thus making it history, and it happened in Paris, so it was global. -Courtney Hale

When you're alone at home you burst into very loud song of any one of the PhotO songs; and you sleep with a rose by your bedside. -Lizhi Anne

_PS: I've tried to put everyone in here, but if I have left you out be mistake, please don't hesitate to message me and you'll be in on the next one. Sorry, it's been a hectic week or so._


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: OK, right. First of all, profuse apologies for the delay. Once again, Real Life was being utterly atrocious. This is probably the final instalment in this list, since I'm kinda out of ideas. Oddly enough, I keep getting more ideas for lists along this line, but no more ideas for this specific list, so in the future expect more lists along this vein, but not more updates on this particular list. _

_Having said that, I did, however, come up with a few more than the usual ten reasons, so I just stuck them all in here, because, what the heck, it's the final chapter. _

_Thanks so much to everyone who has reviewed and contributed suggestions. You guys rock!_

_Right, and on we go:_

41.

You've noticed the fact that Christine's stocking disappear somewhere between 'Music of the Night' and 'Stranger than you dreamt it' and have come up with various interesting (and somewhat risqué) theories on how that came to be…

42.

You can actually hear the 'ph' in words like 'phan'.

43.

In conjunction with #42, you coined the phrase 'phreak out' to describe your acute reaction to anything involving P.o.t.O.

44.

You often answer people's questions, or offer input in conversations, etc. by quoting from either the Leroux or Kay book, or the musical. (Part of the reason you do this is that you're hoping someone will catch and you'll find a fellow phanatic -- unfortunately, this has not happened to me yet.)

45.

You nearly have a fit when you see a car registration plate with the letters DJT on it and take a photograph in order to prove to the world that you saw a car with an acronym of your favourite (non-real)opera in its licence number. (Yes, I really did do this.)

46.

When/if you ever go to Paris, the most important sight-seeing destination on your list is not the Eiffel Tower, but rather the Palais Garnier and you've made a mental note to prod all the mirrors and go through Box 5 with a fine toothed comb, paying special attention to the pillars. You also make a point of sitting in Erik's chair whilst thinking something along the lines of 'This is where Erik sat. This is where Erik sat. …'.

47.

If asked who your favourite fictional character is, your answer is always a character from 'Phantom of the Opera' - 99% of the time, Erik (the rest of the time it's Mme. Giry and maybe Christine).

48.

The answer to the question of who your role model is, is pretty much the same. Explaining the reasons behind this - and how you could choose such an amoral character as a role model - to a non-phanatic outsider is always a headache, but you try your best to patiently explain it all.

49.

You set yourself a challenge to finish 'Madame Bovary' in an hour - just because Erik did.

50.

Whenever you hear someone singing terribly, you describe the sound they make as sounding like "a demented peanut seller's whistle".

51.

You've made a family of the P.o.t.O. characters in sims 2 (or, for the more technically advanced than me, sims 3) where you can merrily go about your guilty-pleasures of E/C shipping and Raoul-bashing in peace.

52.

You've gotten into trouble for reading 'Phantom of the Opera' or 'Phantom' under the desk in class. Or listening to the musical in class. Or drawing phanart in class. Or writing phan-phiction in class. Or… well, you get the basic idea.

53.

Whenever anyone is a jerk to you, you comfort yourself by imagining them having to face Erik in the Khanum's arena (with you on the balcony watching and getting to do the thumbs up/down thing) in Persia. Graphically.

54.

You kill yourself laughing when you notice a shop called 'Erik's Delicatessen'. Following this, you cannot suppress the mental images of Erik behind the counter wearing a plastic apron and gloves and one of those funny full head hair net things -- and a murderous expression. You also can't stop laughing hysterically for a full ten minutes.

55.

Your friends and family are either decidedly scared of you ever since you started with this obsession or are trying to talk you out of it, or both.

56.

On a Rorschach test (which you have most likely been forced to do because of events occurring in point 49) your responses to the various ink blots sound something like this: "Phantom mask, 1990 version, Charles Dance. Phantom mask, 2004 version, Gerard Butler. Phantom mask, Webber stage version. _Urghhh_... phantom mask, _Robert Englund_ version..."

57:

Your favourite High School Musical character is Chad's mom. _[Giant mind cookie to anyone else who can tell me why.]_

_And, finally, The Big One:_

Preparations have already begun on what will be the biggest party in the history of ever, when 'Phantom of the Opera' celebrates it's Centenary early next year. (You're planning a New Year's-style countdown and a cake that says 'Happy Birthday, 'Phantom of the Opera'' as well as a 'Phantom Week' celebration week -- because one day alone just isn't enough.)

--------------

And now for your reasons:

Emaren:

You bought your own violin just because Erik has one, and then spent hours on the net looking for the resurrection of Lazarus.

Word-Wizard:

You can 'watch' the movie in your head whilst listening to the soundtrack, and you get annoyed by the changes in the lyrics they made in the movie version.

xXCourtney HaleXx:

You've made your own Phantom mask and wear it around the house.

LePhantomessa:

You spend all your allowance on a white ruffled satin shirt and velvet pajama top just so that you can say 'Hey! I'm wearing the same clothes as Erik is!'

Team Erik and Fang:

When you realized the cartoon Fairly Odd Parents had the abbreviation FOP, you started laughing hysterically.

Lizhi Anne:

When you are practicing on stage, you spend almost all your time staring into the flies hoping that you will catch a glimpse of the phantom.

_A/N: And that's all, folks! Thanks again for all your awesome reviews and support, it's all greatly appreciated by yours truly. Hope you had as much fun reading as I did writing and, if you like, keep an eye out for some lists in a different style. ;)_


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